Aldershot Maternity Unit
After “Aldershot Crematorium” by John Betjeman
This ward sustains the miracle of birth,
where humankind’s redemptive hope appears.
A cry proclaims another life on Earth,
acknowledged by the nurses’ smiles and cheers.
Alas, we know this joy is temporary,
For two flights down, you’ll find the mortuary.
LUPO
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The Earth Assails
After: “Once I Walked Out” by Mark Wunderlich
from The Earth Avails (Graywolf Press)
Once I walked out and the world
was eager in its greeting.
The wind blew warm, the ferns unfurled,
some playful wrens were tweeting.
But then a spiteful buzzing sound
approached with painful pinch.
Mosquitoes circled all around
each claiming their square inch.
Not wanting to be someone’s snack
I headed for the trees,
but then inhaled a new attack
by pollen allergies.
I rubbed my eyes and took a turn
out to the midday sun,
but when my scalp began to burn
I knew that I was done.
One day I’ll mentally prepare
to take these risks in stride,
and plan adventures few would dare—
for now, I’ll stay inside.
WFOP Museletter Extra, Winter ’25
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Spiritsail
(a ghost story triolet)
One night, alone, he took his boat—
The boat that washed up on the shore.
He left no plan, no map, no note
The night, alone, he took his boat.
The sorrow he could not emote
Projects his image, evermore:
One man, alone, upon a boat—
The boat that washed up on the shore.
LUPO
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Banjaxed!
“Nearly 13,000 recently issued Irish passports are being recalled… missing the letters “IRL.””
—The New York Times.
For wary travelers who fear a
holiday away from Éire,
a typo’s raising ire and
reducing trust in Ireland.
Those public workers must’ve felt sick
on the day they issued Celtic
passports that neglect to tell
the holder hails from IRL.
Light
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Animal Crossing the Line
“Nintendo bans infamous Japanese “Adult Only” Animal Crossing island. Creator says “Thanks for turning a blind eye all these years.””
—Automaton
(after “Bright Days” by Ludwig Jacobowski)
Ah, the brilliant days we had
as lusty avatars—
ferocious beasts, ornately clad
for cyber-leather bars.
But now, they’ve sunk our isle of sin:
no orgies in the clover.
Smile because they once had been!
Don’t cry because it’s over!
Our stories now must turn the page
but don’t succumb to worries—
why, people almost twice your age
are joining groups of furries!
Light
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Giving Up the Bottle
“The rumors are true! I’m retiring and saying goodbye to the world of cleaning to pursue new hobbies,” Mr. Clean said in a statement.
—PennLive
He’s hanging up his plain white tee
and growing out his hair,
as Mr. Clean, retiree,
retracts his nom de guerre.
As mascot for his namesake brand,
he figured it was time
to let his ad campaign disband
and end his life of grime.
Perhaps there was some secret tryst
or other tabloid shocker—
was he revealed on Epstein’s list
or caught with Betty Crocker?
The reason for his abdication
is likely unsurprising:
a tactic of a corporation
to get free advertising.
Light
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Clean Energy
“Officials will flush [the equivalent of] 50,000 toilets to flood a Utah lake in order to generate electricity”
—Fortune
Our hydro-plant’s turbine lay still
because of the ongoing drought.
We couldn’t make power until
Officials could figure this out.
When Archie, the dam engineer
was sitting at home on the pot,
connections began to appear
that loosened this Gordian knot.
So sure of the system he modeled,
he bolted out into the street.
“Eureka!” he cried as he waddled
though town with his pants at his feet.
He called out, “I have the solution!”
The crowd held a palpable hush.
“We need everyone’s contribution—
so go to your bathrooms and flush!”
The crisis had seemingly ended,
forestalling the city’s decline.
Soon, Archie was duly commended
(but also was given a fine.)
Light
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Devout and Dashing?
“A calendar featuring close-ups of young, handsome men in priestly attire has been a perennial Rome souvenir for the last two decades — but few, it seems, are actually men of the cloth.”
—APNews
We practicing Catholic “fishers of men”
agree that these clergymen make quite a catch—
for who doesn’t utter a vow now and then,
and Lord knows that Rome is in need of some scratch.
Now, caveat emptor (that lesson in Latin)
applies to those souvenir models who tease us.
They may seem successful as bank accounts fatten,
but think of the penance for catfishing Jesus!
Light
Marshall Begel 