Public Domain Blues
Featherweights
Druncle
appeared on Lighten Up Online
The Discovery of Pi(e)
was illustrated by Ellie Lazarcik
Blazin’ Hot
Fatten the People, Thin the Herd
Beauty is Veneer Deep
Mucosal Magnetism
appeared in Light
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Public Domain Blues
Attention, old poets and smiths of the word,
The good times are coming, or haven’t you heard?
Perhaps your allotment of talent’s been spent.
Old royalty checks will not cover the rent.
And maybe you’re back making tips at burlesque,
Or punching the keys at some corporate desk.
Your vision’s not blinded, so wipe off those tears—
Your fans will return in just 95 years!
Public Domain, the Public Domain
Where all of our work will be free to obtain.
Your time to be famous will come once again,
When you’re introduced to the Public Domain!
Your wit’s out of fashion. Your genre is dead,
And nothing of value remains in your head.
But all that’s discarded will someday be found,
And old-fashioned styles will again come around.
They’ll honor your brilliance and self-sacrifice
While loading your work onto every device!
Public Domain, the Public Domain
Where you’d get a bonus for dying insane.
And though you’re mislabeled, you cannot complain—
At least you’ll be read in the Public Domain.
While you remain comfortably snug in your grave,
The government reckons what’s worthy to save.
When kids of the kids of our kids start to say,
“There’s something the matter with kids of today!”
That’s when they will open the floodgates of art.
So rest easy, friend, you’ve completed your part!
Public Domain, the Public Domain
We’ll thaw out the freezer of Walt Disney’s brain,
And open a bottle of fancy champagne
For we’ll join him soon in the Public Domain!
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Featherweights
Returning for his yearly rite,
the robin picks his nesting site.
This eave-protected understory
offers splendid territory.
But every day, the sun’s arrival
brings this bird a well matched rival.
Another robin—so it seems—
intends to thwart our hero’s schemes.
So, talons out, our little chirper
targets this would-be usurper.
A bang, a squawk, a ruffled wave
assails that ill-intentioned knave!
Rebuffed, as if he wasn’t seen,
the bird repeats his fierce routine.
But in the face of this resistance,
rival merely keeps his distance.
Our hero battles, undeterred
(I half-respect this little bird!)
until the sunlight hits the eave,
and rival robin takes his leave.
Tomorrow, dawn will bring again
reflections in my window pane.
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Druncle
(With apologies to Dickinson)
Before the ice is in the glass,
Before the scotch is poured,
When snacks are getting compliments,
And trifles are ignored—
Before he brings up politics,
Before “It’s them, or me!”,
I glimpse the image of the man
Who bounced me on his knee.
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Blazin’ Hot
“Strip club owners unveil plans for first weed dispensary”
Come gaze at some boobies while purchasing doobies
At Castaway Gentleman’s Club.
We’ll swing around poles while you light up your bowls,
Each round costing only a dub.
Stick cash into thongs as you cash out your bongs
Our Mary Jane won’t disappoint.
So come get sedated somewhere that’s X-rated.
We’re certain you’ll frequent our joint!
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Fatten the People, Thin the Herd
“The Exmoor Squirrel Project is asking landowners to set live traps and restaurants to serve grey squirrel.”
Roasted squirrel with pesto swirl
Shepherd’s pie of lanternfly
Baked cane toad served à la mode
Brown tree snake medallion steak
Garlic mustard seasoned custard
Zebra mussels stewed with Brussels
Northern Snakehead stuffed with cornbread
Rusty crayfish noodle hotdish
Help invaders meet their fate
Garnished, served upon a plate.
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Beauty is Veneer Deep
“[A] Harvard-trained doctor specializing in cosmetic dentistry [noticed] an unsettling trend among celebrity smiles: Everybody had the exact same teeth. Unnaturally perfect.”
Color me as unsurprised.
Actors’ teeth were analyzed.
Once again, it’s brought to light –
Hollywood is straight and white.
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Mucosal Magnetism
“Tiny crustaceans the size of sand grains sneeze up packets of glowing mucus to impress potential partners.”
Glimmering, shimmering
Panama’s ostracods
Start mating season with
Luminous snot.
Sparking delight in their
Microanatomy,
Female sea fireflies
Find this quite hot.
Sadly that sentiment
Translates abysmally
When homo sapiens
Likewise equip-
Women will question my
Marriageability,
During my seasonal
Postnasal drip.
Marshall Begel 